can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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