She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.