I want to stick my p in your. b.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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