they need to just BURY HIM!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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