She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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