Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize