would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize