You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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