i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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