I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
