In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
