Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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