If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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