i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
