There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
