Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
