i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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