your thong is hanging out like whoa
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
