Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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