Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
