Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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