I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
