yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How does it feel to date your dad?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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