can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
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But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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