I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
smell my finger.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
