Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
