he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We left the knife in your bed.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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