And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
