Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
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Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
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Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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