First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
