Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
