Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
