we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
