i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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