i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Success! We fucked roommates!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
