I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He kissed a someone with a penis
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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