There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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