sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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