Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
