Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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