how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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