I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
