I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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