Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
