i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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