we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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