I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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