I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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