dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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