Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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