I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sext me about skeletons
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
