After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize