if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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