I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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