His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
