Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
