Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
