I think I am morally bankrupt
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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