Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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