yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
