I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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