what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
