if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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