I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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